Frogs and Princes

My Charle bug and I have had some interesting past couple of days.  Yesterday we had a very special visitor.. I've been waiting on this person to get his stuff together and come visit for a very long time.  I'm not going to post who it is, those of you know know who it is.. don't fuss at me (no it's not my soon to be ex husband.)  I promised him that I wouldn't post the picture of him holding Charleston on Facebook but I didn't say anything about my blog.. sneaky sneaky ;)

So here he is

He was petrified of her the entire time.  Most guys are scared of babies though.. I'm more fragile than she is so I don't get it.  She was mesmerized by him the entire time he held her (I guess she thinks he looks funny.)  I was secretly super excited that he came over and sad when he left but I tried not to act like it because of our circumstances.

Moving on.. Today my sister came over and helped me with my sanity by keeping Charle calm.  I let her feed her and take care of her while I had some time to just breathe and not worry about every little thing.  We ended up going to Cracker Barrel for lunch and stayed for two hours.  I honestly enjoy spending more time with my sister now that we don't live together and the fact that I don't get out much or see anyone except at church.  I told her today that I am surprised at how well she does with Charle and she takes care of her better than I thought she would.  I'm just so stinkin' proud of her.

Here are some pictures from today

I had to get a picture of one her her tantrums!



Time is Flying By

While Charle is napping, I figured I would take a few minutes to update (She's been napping for 4 hours now too...) Yesterday my baby girl turned a whole month old!! I can't believe it's been that long. Little bug had an appointment today with her cardiologist because she had a heart murmur. I found out that she's a gained almost two pounds in the past two weeks; Charle now weighs 8lbs and 13oz. Also.. AMAZING news.. the dr. couldn't hear any murmurs!! He wants to see her back in a few months to make sure that they really have closed up. I wasn't worried about it but it was nice to get the good news this morning. Her dr. was also giving me all sorts of advice about her colic and he told me that it should go away by the time she is 3 months old. Today, Charle's colic wasn't as bad as it has been but she did fight me every time I tried to put her in her crib while she was napping so she's been taking her naps on her mat all day.

This past Saturday I went to all the yard sales (as usual) and found some pretty nice deals again.  I bought two brand new tops for 50 cents a peice.  A large oval wall mirror for $2 that I'm going to use in my room once I have finished painting it.  I also bought Charle two books for 25 cents a piece.  Once of them is a fishy book that is cloth and has some type of sound button in it that is supposed to sound like the ocean.. well after I put it through the washer, it hasn't stopped making sounds.  It's starting to creep me and my mom out because it really sounds like someone breathing really hard.  My mom is almost to the point of cutting the book open and pulling the button out.. I told her to wait and see if it dies soon (I doubt it.)

Here are some pictures from her 1 month birthday!!

Things are looking up

As most of you know from my facebook status, Charle has had a rough week.  Last week she started crying all day long then she started spitting up most of what she was eating.  By Monday of this week, I was frustrated and stressed to the max.  But while she was doing all of this, she was taking regular naps in her crib and sleeping in it at night after at least one feeding.  On Monday night, I started giving her gas drops and they seemed to help with the fussiness but not with the spit up.  Yesterday she was still spitting up over half of what she ate so my mom encouraged me to call her Doctor and he said to give her 1-2 bottles of Similac Sensitive formula a day and if she wasn't doing better by next Monday to call him back.  I gave her one bottle yesterday and one today... AND... WE ARE DOING MUCH BETTER!!!!! I was able to take her to the mall, Target and Varsity tonight with minimal fussiness.  Hopefully she keeps on improving and I get my happy Charle bug back. :)

Right now she's next to me passed out on her boppy

My sister has been coming over about twice a week during the day and she has been a total lifesaver!  (I never thought I would say that)  When she comes over, I don't have to hold Charle when she's crying and Sarah holds her long enough for me to eat and shower too!  Sarah came over this afternoon and I was able to get that stuff done and then we went to the mall and target to get out of the house.  While we were at Target, I was making my way around the store just browsing clearance sections and looking for red stickers.  We made it over to the shoe dept after I didn't find anything $5 or under in the clothes.  I wasn't really looking for anything but I saw a bunch of cute stuff that I can't wait for them to go on clearance.  I was about to walk out of the she section and move on to baby stuff when a red tag caught my eye.  This red tag was attached to some really cute black heels that I like (my size too!!!!) and the sticker has a price of $4.98 on it!!!!!! I tried them on and said yes please! I can't wait to wear them!!

While I'm talking about amazing deals, this past Saturday, I went to a bunch of yard sales with my Aunt Shell and got really great stuff.  I bought a BRAND NEW play mat for Charle for $5.

I also bought 3 pairs of old navy shorts for 50 cents a piece, 4 express tops for 50 cents a piece, a silver belt- 50 cents, a pair of heels- 50 cents, and.... a nice brown blazer for $1.  I was looking for a swing for Charle too because my mom said that the swing was a miracle worker with me but the only one I saw, the lady wanted $40 for it and I wouldn't have paid more than $10 for it so no swing this week.



Stressful Day

Today has been quite stressful. Yesterday, Charle wasn't eating like she should, she was latching on perfect but would sit there and let her mouth fill up with milk then break latch and spit it back all over me. After an hour of that, I put her in her chair and she screamed because she was hungry. Well her doctor wanted me to start supplementing formula if she hadn't gained weight by today so I decided to try a bottle of formula. She ate it all up but.... today was a disaster from it. We think the formula upset her little tummy because she hasn't had as many poops today as she normally does and she screamed and cried alllllllllll day long. I think that it is the added iron in the formula that is messing her up. I am anemic and was told to stop taking my iron pills until my 6-week postpartum check-up so I know she's not getting iron from my breast milk. When your body isn't used to iron, it will constipate you once you get it in your system so I think she might be constipated. :(

On a good note, Charleston is sleeping in her crib right now!!! I gave up the battle with the bassinet because she hates it and I found out the other night that it has been recalled. Hopefully I will get around to breaking it down tomorrow and putting it away because it is just taking up space now. This morning after I changed her diaper, I sat her in the crib so that I could organize and tidy up her changing table and she stayed in the crib for about 20min without fussing. After that, I decided to put her in the crib after every diaper change to get her used to it and she took an hour-long nap in it this afternoon and is now sleeping in it. YAY!! Hopefully this means I will be able to sleep at night without her soon! I was nervous about putting her in her crib before she was 6 weeks but I'm ok with it now, I know she will be fine. Oh! Charle is three weeks old today! Time flies fast. She's already getting so big and she's starting to stretch her legs out more instead of curling up in the fetal position constantly.

I love sleeping with my bug but I would like for this to end..

 Her nap in her crib today.. she sleeps on her side all curled up exactly the same way that I sleep :)



Break The Cycle

I know that I've already shared my story and I'm not going to go into detail again about what happened.  I was just watching Dr. Phil this morning and the show was about abusive teen relationships.  My relationship wasn't a teen relationship but the abuse was the same.  Dr. Phil mentioned a website that he's teamed up with to spread awareness about teen abuse so I looked up that site.  The site is breakthecycle.org.  I found a page called dating violence 101 and I was shocked; I had not realized that he had done all of those things to me like he was following a book. His pattern of behavior followed the diagram perfectly and the power of control diagram described EVERY thing that he did.

"Anger/Emotional Abuse:

Putting him/her down

Making him/her think he/she is crazy

Mind games"

"Using Social Status:

Making all the decisions

Being the one to define men's and women's roles"

"Intimidation:

Making someone afraid by using looks, actions, gestures

Abusing pets"

"Minimize/Deny/Blame:

Making light of the abuse

Saying the abuse didn't happen

Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior

Saying he/she caused it"

"Threats:

Making him/her drop charges"

"Sexual Coercion:

Manipulating or making threats to get sex

Getting her pregnant

Threatening to take the children away"

"Isolation/Exclusion:

Controlling what another does, who he/she sees, and talks to, what he/she reads, where he/she goes

Limiting outside involvement

Using Jealousy to justify actions"

"Peer Pressure:

Threatening to expose someone's weakness"

As I read all of these, I was literally checking all of these off as things he did and are still trying to do today.  I've been working on moving past all of this since he disappeared and to stop living in fear of him.  Even though I'm at a good point to where his antics don't work on me anymore, my heart still breaks that people can be like that.  I truly believe that controlling/abusive people are  mentally sick and need lots of help but most of them are in such denial that they refuse to get help.  I really want to believe that they can change but without lots of rehabilitation and Jesus, there is no possible way that they will change.  I'm the type of person that see's a sick person and wants to help but when someone doesn't want it, the best thing is to stay far far away from them.  I want girls (and even guys) to realize that you don't need to stay in an abusive relationship for ANY reason.  If you are in that type of relationship, get help.  Call the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1.866.331.9474 or if you feel in immediate danger, call 911.  Don't try and stay in the relationship to fix the abuser because it won't work (I tried.)

 

 

 

20 Days

I can't believe my little bug is already 20 days old! This week I've been working with her on sleeping in the bassinet again and it has been a back and forth thing.  Last Friday, she slept in it during every nap but once it was time for bed that night, there was no way that she was sleeping in it without throwing a huge fit and Meme (my mother) would come get her out to hold her. 

I look like an idiot but who cares, Charle looks pretty pleased with herself that she got her way.

There was no sleep for mommy that night so I tried again to get her to sleep in it during her naps on Saturday but that was not working either and again didn't work out Saturday night.  FINALLY Sunday night she slept in it twice out of the four times we slept so we were getting somewhere again.

  Since then, she hasn't slept in it until now.  She just took a nap in the bassinet!!!!

Charle is starting to stay awake for longer amounts of time now so we are working on getting her on a schedule.  As of right now she eats, plays in her bouncy seat for a bit then takes a nap or eats, sleeps then play.  She hasn't figured out which schedule to go with so it's different almost every time.  She is eating on a pretty strict schedule though, she eats every two hours and we are working on getting her to eat for twenty minutes each time.  As of right now, she eats for about ten to fifteen minutes each feeding.  Hopefully when I take her to get weighed on Thursday, she will have gained weight and I won't have to supplement formula. 

I've got Charle in her bouncy seat right now and she's reaching for the toys for the first time.  It's so neat to see her discover them and watch herself in the dangling mirror.  She's making the cutest faces at her toys; it makes me wish I knew what she was thinking. 

Too much play time

Her second Church outfit. Mrs. Frabott made this pillow case dress for her.

SHE'S HERE!!!!

I guess I should start with her birthday and all that info since everyone has been bugging the mess out of me for it.  Charleston Elizabeth Radclyffe Hess was born 7/21/11 at 12:12pm after only 4 hours of labor.  She weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 20in long.  When the doctor held her up for me to see her, all I could think about was how much she looked like my baby pictures.  She's now starting to look like Sarah's baby pictures more.  Charle's hair has been strawberry blonde since birth but some days it looks more red or blonde than others.  She also has these dark blue eyes that match mine perfectly.  The cutest thing is her birth mark; it is on her right wrist and it is as sideways heart. 

our first picture

Today Miss Charle is two weeks old and I can't believe that it's only been two weeks.  Her first week was a breeze; she slept all the time and didn't fuss for anything but food.  This week.... TOTALLY different story.  On Sunday, my sister cooked lunch for us and it ended up giving the little one a belly ache all Monday and a diaper rash showed up Monday night.  Now she has her nights and days mixed up, she refuses to sleep anywhere except in my arms or in her car seat (car seat only works about 20% of the time), and she hasn't been eating enough this week.  When we went to her two week check-up today, we found out that she had lost 3oz since last Thursday and the Doc said that if she hadn't gained weight by next Thursday that he wants me to start supplementing formula.  I'm not a fan of that but it has been my fault that she's not getting enough food; I have allowed my divorce to stress me out more than it should and that has effected my milk supply this week.  This coming week we are going to work on getting her to sleep in her bassinet again, getting her on a set schedule and relaxing more.  Charle and I do have a new best friend called the paci... I've read and heard not to give her a paci in her first 6 weeks if she's breast fed because it can cause nipple confusion but she still latches on perfect and that little paci makes her world so much better.  She freaks out when she pulls or spits it out and can't get it back in her mouth.  I wish that I had more time for this blog but she's getting hungry and fussy so I need to wrap it up there.

Here are some cute pictures of her

She disliked her first bath so much that she pooped on me twice and I decided that bath time was over after the second time..